Echo Woman
| ECHO NEWS | |  | | | | | | | | FEATURES | | | | | | | SOUTHEND UNITED | | | | HEALTH | | | | | | | COMING UP IN YOUR ECHO | |
|
|
|
Terrified I wasn't a good mum
 |
| Get help - Louise Moore with Harrison |
WHEN I fell pregnant with my son Harrison I was over the moon.
We did all the usual things, read all the parenting books, bought the cute baby clothes, did up the nursery and waited excitedly for our new arrival.
Everything went smoothly and I was lucky to have a problem free birth. The problems started a few days later. I was having trouble feeding and while my midwife was brilliant, I just couldn't snap out of it. I started to worry about everything and wanted to be in control. The house had to be spotless, and I had to be that person who coped.
I have a great family and lots of friends around me that I could have asked for help, but I didn't want them thinking I wasn't a good mum.
I'd go to weigh ins and chat to the other mums and the questions would always centre around, is he a good baby? does he sleep through the night? While there were a lot of nice people there, there were also some really competitive parents and I do think some mums lie about how well their babies are doing.
It just makes you feel inferior and I would come home and start analysing what had been said. Asking why doesn't my baby do that?
I'm quite a logical person and like to have structure, all of a sudden that was gone. I didn't know what to do.
I became sleep deprived and when Harrison did sleep I couldn't because I was too busy worrying.
I'd become very good at hiding my feelings. I'd managed to hide it from my husband. When he came home from work I'd have my make-up on, my hair done and dinner would be ready. He had no reason to suspect anything.
The day that everything changed was the day I went to the baby group at Wickford Health Centre when Harrison was around three months old.
There were all these children playing nicely and their mums were joining in with them. I didn't feel anything and at that moment I just broke down sobbing and couldn't stop.
Most people think that post natal depression is where you think you're going to harm your child or you don't love them, but I couldn't love Harrison more. I adored him. I just didn't know why I felt like I did.
The staff at the centre were really good and got me an appointment with the doctor straightaway. I was given some antidepressants and the health visitor came out to see me everyday. I also joined a group with other mums in the same situation and I finally started to realise I wasn't on my own.
Over time thanks to the group and the chance to talk to other people, the health visitor, the tablets and most of all my husband and family I got better. Going back to work was also a big help. I was having time not just being mum, but being my own person again and also having the opportunity to be in control of something again.
Harrison is 20 months old now, I no longer need the tablets. I do still have bad days but I just don't over analyse them.
The reason I wanted to do this article was to raise awareness of the subject, and to say to any mums that are feeling like I did, they are not on their own and should get help.
People are scared to admit they aren't coping, but they shouldn't be. There is help out there, and if it's anything like the help I got, it's fantastic.
*Tell us about a day that changed your life. It can be happy, sad, funny, inspirational. It just needs to be focused on one day that means a lot to you. If we use your story we will send you a prize worth £50 from Debenhams, Basildon.
Send details of your story to us at echowoman@nqe.com by post to Echo Woman, Features, The Echo, Newspaper House, Chester Hall Lane, Basildon, Essex, SS14 3BL or call 01268 469380.
ends
12:39pm Monday 10th March 2008
Print 
Email this 
Comment
What are these links for?
If you liked this article and would like to share it with others on the web who might be searching for good content we've made it easy for you to do it.
At the bottom of all articles, you'll see links to six sites. These sites - commonly called 'social bookmark' or 'social news' sites - have large communities of web users who share and rate interesting, useful and fun things on the web.
Clicking the links will automatically add the address of the story you are reading to one of these sites, letting you share it with others. Each site will ask you to register to share stories. Registration is free and once a member, you can store, recommend and search for stories that interest you.
More on Digg
More on del.icio.us
More on Furl
More on reddit
More on NowPublic/
More on Yahoo!
