It may not have been a competition, but the final of The Island with Bear Grylls had one clear winner – the women.

The gang have suffered many setbacks over their month-long spell on the island, including infected lacerations, semi-starvation, fatigue and cliff-top falls.

And the entire last episode was pretty much just one big moan – mostly from the men.

The men rested at the camp in various states of collapse, immobilised by funny turns and feeling faint.

one of the men lying down (screenshot/channel 4)
(screenshot/channel 4)

Meanwhile the providers of the group, the women, set off to hunt, returning with buckets of crustaceans and juicy limes.

The 200-calorie meal of snails and limpets was hastily devoured with a hefty side of snark as Bear Grylls pronounced it “nowhere near enough to halt the men’s physical decline”.

The dire situation forced Simon to announce: “I don’t know how much longer I can last doing this, I’m at a loss”, before adding gloomily: “I’m the worst Robinson Crusoe in history, I think.”

Lucky it’s the final then, eh Simon.

Thankfully an alligator turned up which meant the men could stop moaning and revel in their manliness.

alligator on the fire (screenshot/Channel 4)
The alligator being cooked on the fire (screenshot/Channel 4)

There was a lot of violent thrashing about. The alligator barely blinked.

Not that it convinced anyone.

So long, islanders. Until next time…