"FOR sale, baby shoes. Never worn”.

There’s a reason why Ernest Hemingway’s six-word novel is hailed as the best short story even written. Can there be anymore brutally concise way of evoking the sadness of losing a child?

A new born baby is one of life’s happiest moments but for some that joyous occasion turns to tragedy and loss.

But when it does happen where do people turn?

Colchester Hospital has a specialist bereavement suite for mothers and their families who have experienced the loss of a baby.

As well as a purpose-built lounge and kitchen area, the Rosemary Suite at Colchester Hospital now hasa cool cot – a piece of medical equipment that acts like a refrigerated cradle, so that babies who have died do not need to be taken straight to the hospital mortuary, meaning that parents and other family members can spend time with them. There is another in the hospital’s maternity unit.

The cot for the Rosemary Suite was funded byamother who lost a baby 36 weeks into her pregnancy.

Louise White raised £1,266 along with her step-father Terry Draper and her friend Mandy Morris.

Louise, 30, of Forge Crescent, Bradwell, near Braintree, suffered a placental abruption in January last year, which resulted in her baby dying inside her womb and Louise becoming critically ill.

Louise was in surgery at Colchester General Hospital for about ten hours, during which her baby, who she named Beatrix, was delivered by caesarean section.

Mr Draper said: “Before my granddaughter was born, I would have felt very uncomfortable about holding a baby who had died.

“However, looking back on it, I’m so pleased that I was able to spend time with my granddaughter Beatrix.

“At the time of her birth, the maternity unit had access to only one cool cot which meant that if two babies died at the same time the staff would have to decide who had the cot.

“I thought that was simply wrong which is whyMandy and I decided to do some fundraising to buy a second."

The Rosemary Suite was visited by Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt in the run-up to the general election with Will Quince, nowColchester’s MP. Mr Quince and his family have raised funds for the suite after his son Robert James Quince, passed away there in last October. Robert had Edward’s Syndrome which is a very rare chromosonal disorder, described as incompatible with life.

Next week, Colchester MP Will Quince is to speak in the House of Commons on bereavement care in maternity units.

To co-incide with October being baby loss awareness month the Butterfly Bereavement Suite at Southend Hospital has recently been refurbished and redecorated.

The suite – just like the Rosemary Suite at Colchester – offers families a safe and comfortable space to spend time with their baby and receive open visits from family and friends.

And the care and support from Colchester Hospital doesn’t end when the family leave the Rosemary Suite.

Last month a service was organised by Colchester Hospital’s chaplaincy team as an event for families who had lost a child as a result of a miscarriage, stillbirth or shortly after the birth of their baby, whether that loss was recent or many years – or even decades – ago to come together in remembrance.

It included hymns, poetry and secular music and also saw families lighting candles in memory of their loss.

The Trust’s chaplaincy team has held an annual service in Clacton since 1999 and one in Colchester since 1994.

 

MUMS’ MISSION

TWO Colchester mums have been helping others through the heartbreak of losing young children.

Katie Henderson, 40, and Dione Fox, 39, have been buying and selling gifts and donating the money to charities helping to support childhood loss.

Katie’s eldest daughter Aimee was born with Cockayne’s syndrome, and died just before her third birthday.

She also lost her fourth daughter Millie to the condition in April 2011.

Dione’s third daughter Poppy was stillborn in July 2009.

Since then, the pair have been raising money for some of the charities which helped their families through the tragedies – Great Ormond Street, Addenbrooke’s Hospital, Colchester General Hospital and the Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Charity.

 

JADE, LEE AND LEWIS

LEWIS will always be thought of as a little miracle by his mum, Jade Lewis, and dad, Lee Konig.

The couple were told they couldn’t have children so for them his death on August 30 this year will always be the cruellest and harshest of twists.

But the incredibly strong young couple have nothing but praise for the staff who were so gentle and calming at such at intensely emotional and sensitive time.

Speaking about the the Butterfly Suite at Southend Hospital, Jade, 26, said: “Everything is there to help give you the right love care and attention. It’s like your own private apartment that allows you and your family to escape into your own self-contained bubble.”

During their time in the room Jade and Lee spent lots of time looking through the window so felt it fitting to buy a canvas that depicts a scene through an open window featuring a fairy blowing butterflies up into the sky.

Lee, 29, from Great Wakering,said: “We saw this nice bright picture and it just clicked, blowing the butterflies up to heaven, it just seemed right for us and the room. .”

The picture now creates a focal point for the room and it’s hard not to be drawn in by it or the inscription below that proudly reads: “In Memory Of Our Precious Little Boy Lewis Daniel Konig “Always Mummy and Daddy’s Little Miracle.”

Amanda says: “Mums and dads have said that it’s a beautiful picture and it helps show that although at that moment they feel alone they are united with others who have also lost their children.”

Just three weeks after Lewis’ death Jade could be found doing the hospital’s walk for wards, proudly wearing a T-shirt adorned with butterflies and her son’s name that was made by her mum.

Jade explained that it was the first time she had been out since the tragedy. She said: “It was a 14-mile walk, I found it very hard emotionally but at the same time wanted to complete it for Lewis and give something back to the hospital.”

 

SUZANNE, PETE AND TILLY

SUZANNE and Pete Newman sadly have first hand experience of why a specialist bereavement suite is such a valuable facility.

“It’s not a room you imagine when you think of a maternity ward,” said Suzanne. “No one ever thinks they are going to be in the circumstances to use it but we could see that it’s an invaluable space where a family can just spend precious time together creating memories.”

Peter and Suzanne, both now 33, endured every parentto- be’s worst nightmare in September 2013 when a scan at 33 weeks into the pregnancy revealed there was no amniotic fluid around the baby. Doctors suspected infantile polycystic kidney disease, in which the kidneys grow at an abnormal rate at the expense of the heart and lungs.

A second scan the following week at Kings College London, came to the same conclusion. The devastated couple were told there was little hope of the baby surviving the pregnancy.

Three weeks later, on October 4, at 5.39pm, Suzanne, supported by midwife Amanda Cushing, gave birth to Tilly.

“She was born sleeping and she was just incredibly beautiful,” says Peter simply.

The couple were provided with a ‘cold cot’ which enabled them to spend precious time and wake up with their daughter the following day. That morning both sets of grandparents also visited, and later that day she was blessed by a hospital chaplain.

“We needed that time to be able to sit down and talk to her, hold her, take photographs,” says Peter. “It didn’t take the pain away, but it brought us a bit of comfort, gave us memories of her.”

Amanda also visited the couple in the post-natal days without Tilly, and, at the couple’s request, the hospital made all the funeral arrangements.

Since then the Newmans have raised more than £3,000 for Havens, Sands – the stillbirth and neonatal death charity – and Southend Hospital’s Butterfly Bereavement Suite.

This has been achieved through Pete’s running – he completed the Brighton marathon earlier this year, and Suzanne, a policy and engagement officer with Southend Council, explained how it has had a positive impact. She said: “It’s been nice that we’ve been able to do things in Tilly’s memory and I know that has really spurred Pete on in his running.”

“Tilly’s little sister, Sophia, was born in January this year.

Throughout the pregnancy Southend Hospital were exceptionally supportive. And although Sophia was never lucky enough to meet Tilly, she will know all about her older sister.”

 

HOSPITAL’S BID TO CUT NUMBER OF STILLBIRTHS IN COLCHESTER

LAST year Colchester Hospital rolled out a new programme across north east Essex which it is hoped will result in fewer stillbirths.

It involves giving each mother a customised growth chart that tells her how large her baby is expected to be for each week of her pregnancy.

If the baby’s growth falls outside the expected "norm" for that individual woman, the mother is offered extra ultrasound scans to check that the baby is thriving.

If the baby still needs help, the mother will be referred to an obstetrician for extra monitoring.

Sometimes the clinical recommendation will be for the baby to be born early, such as by Caesarean section.

Known as the Growth Assisted Protocol (GAP), the programme was devised by Professor Jason Gardosi, director of the Perinatal Institute in Birmingham, who believes it could prevent up to 1,000 stillbirths a year in the UK.