ADVANCED psychotherapist and clinical hypnotherapist CLAIRE GASKIN sees clients in Essex and in London’s Harley Street. She is now bringing her expertise to the problems of our readers as our agony aunt. If you have a problem you’d like Claire’s advice with, email agonyaunt@nqe. com For more details on Claire’s work, visitbenefittherapy.co.uk

DEAR CLAIRE: I have noticed lately my eight-yearold daughter is pretty much scared of everything.

It is a struggle to get her to go to school but once she is there she is fine - it is social activities and making friends she seems to have an issue with.

She refuses to go to parties or other children’s homes to play and if we do go she will insist on sitting right next to me until we leave so it makes it pretty pointless.

She is worried about Santa so isn’t looking forward to Christmas and when we went to a school disco recently she asked to be taken home early because it was too noisy.

Educationally she is doing really well but she just has no self-confidence and I don’t know why.

I was always quite outgoing as a child. How can I tackle this and help her be more sociable ? I fear she may be a target for bullies in future if she remains so timid.

CLAIRE SAYS: Your daughter appears anxious about a number of things. Gently ask her what she is scared of.

It might be something she has learned at school, or heard during a family argument, or perhaps seen on TV.

When children are afraid something ‘bad’ will happen to a parent they often don’t want to be away from them.

Refusing to go to school, friends’ houses and parties, or leave your side, suggests this is a possibility.

Acknowledge your daughter’s fears and tell her you understand. Comfort and reassure her, and say that it’s best to deal with them.

Although complaining about noise levels at the school disco may have been an excuse to go home with you, it might also be that her behaviour is down to feeling overwhelmed by volumes of people, places or sound.

Experiencing amplified sensory responses can be caused by a number of conditions.

If you suspect this could be the case it is essential to talk to your doctor. Whether there is, or isn’t, an underlying psychological or physical reason, all children can benefit from learning how to be more assertive, to safeguard against future bullies.

There are lots of parental resources available in libraries and online - twinkl.co.uk is a good place to start