ADVANCED psychotherapist and clinical hypnotherapist CLAIRE GASKIN sees clients in Essex and London’s Harley Street.

She is now bringing her expertise to the problems of our readers as our agony aunt. If you have a problem you’d like Claire’s advice with, email agonyaunt@nqe. com For more details on Claire’s work, visit www.benefittherapy.co.uk Today Claire focuses on how to find your inner happiness for 2018. Here are her top tips on channelling your inner happy this year....

1. Lower your expectation of others to make room for your dreams PRECIOUS time and energy is wasted getting angry or feeling resentful when others don’t do what we expect from them. It’s natural to judge others by your own standards.

But, the minute you lower your expectations, you become free to use all that energy on making your dreams come true. Plus, it’s always nice when people exceed our expectations. A real feel-good bonus!

2. Reframe Failure LOTS of people are conditioned to see life in terms of EITHER success OR failure. The thinking goes: if we’re not successful we must be a failure. Eventually, we learn to fear failure. If fear is so great that you never get started, it’s time to recognise that failure is learning how not do to do something, so you have a greater chance of getting it right, next time.

3. Face Your Fears OUR brains are constantly vigilant to threats from our environment.

You can’t stop it and, besides, it’s pretty useful. New things can be frightening. The unknown is potentially full of danger and your brain wants to keep you safe. Feel the fear but do it anyway 4. Train Your Inner Critic WE all have an inner critic.

Sometimes, it can be helpful.

It can inspire and motivate us.

Other times, it’s a little devil in disguise.

When that critical voice unexpectedly pops into your mind, follow these three steps:

1. ACKNOWLEDGE -It’s there, now what?

2. EVALUATE -Is it true? Does it have value?

3. USE IT OR LOSE IT - If it’s of no use ditch it and move on

4. Conflict VS Happiness EASTERN philosophy teaches us that we do not have to think of life in terms of EITHER/OR. But, it is entirely possible to hold two different perspectives at the same time.

Tolerance, wisdom and freedom is achieved once we see the world in terms of BOTH/AND instead of EITHER/OR.