THE UNIVERSAL, 57-59 SAUCHIEHALL LANE Tel: 0141 352 6999 THE further the Moll led me up the quiet cobbled lane, the more I began to imagine a Crimewatch reconstruction. "It was in this secluded lane," Nick Ross would say, "that Diner Tec was last sighted. What happened next remains a mystery." STARTERS:

Soup of the day £2.95

Greek salad £3.95

MAINS:

Beef and Guinness stew £5.95

Fish and chips £5.95

DRINKS:

Two soft drinks £3

TOTAL: £21.80

Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I followed respectively behind. Just as my last ounce of doubt was running out, we arrived at possibly the most secluded joint in the city centre, The Universal.

Hidden on Sauchiehall Lane - a thoroughfare which bisects Watt Brothers off Hope Street, one I'd previously never known existed - it's been quietly attracting drinkers and diners for a few years now.

By the time we arrived mid lunchtime, the downstairs bar was packed. We could either wait for a table to become free, we were told, or move to the spacious upstairs lounge.

The Moll's rumbling tum waits for no man and so we headed upstairs. The lounge is less cosy than its downstairs equivalent, but comfortable nonetheless.

The menu is pretty standard fayre, featuring as it does the usual pub grub suspects - chicken goujons, mince and tatties, lasagne, Thai curry, and bangers and mash.

There are also a few items, you wouldn't expect and, clearly, someone at Universal has a sense of humour.

Alongside the list of side salads on offer was a Glasgow salad'. Intrigued by what assortment of greenery it consisted of, I asked our friendly waiter. The response?

"It's a plate of chips."

Further down the menu among the coffees it read : latte (bloody awkward expensive trendy things) - £7.95'.

My, how we laughed.

The comedy routine over, the waiter brought our starters - a Greek salad for the Moll and a hearty bowl of tomato and lentil soup for yours truly.

The Moll's salad ticked all the right boxes - fresh, tasty and just the right amount - while my soup was a deliciously warming broth, which, with some accompanying chunks of fresh bread, could have been a meal in its own right.

A short while later, the mains arrived - beef and Guinness stew for the Moll, and good old fish and chips for me.

While The Moll thought her stew a winner, she was less than enamoured with her vegetables. "As bland as Noel Edmonds' pullovers," she scoffed. But she didn't seem to mind too much, so taken was she with the stew.

My haddock and chips were of a high standard, but I'd like to have seen real chips instead of the frozen variety - it's details like that, that make places stand out.

The portions couldn't be faulted - both plates were piled high with nosh.

All in all, though, it was a pleasant meal, and the laid back atmosphere and friendly staff mean that we'll pop in again some time.

And at little more than £20 for two two-course meals and a couple of soft drinks, even my wallet approved.

We skipped on dessert - although their daily grumble... usually rhubarb' sounded appealing - and headed back outside to tread the cobbles.

"See," smiled the Moll, "sometimes it pays off to be led astray."

WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR: Friendly atmosphere.

WHAT TO AVOID: Bland veg and frozen chips.