How much will it cost town to have a mayor? (From Echo)

Just what Basildon needs a Mayor that might then kill off the legend of the revolutionary Watt Tyler perhaps the park could be renamed 'The Winston Churchill park' or 'The Maggie Thatcher Park'

At least they did not march against the state.

Funny how this lot can always find money to fund their ego's yet there is never enough money to get any repairs done

evilc wrote:
Just what Basildon needs a Mayor that might then kill off the legend of the revolutionary Watt Tyler perhaps the park could be renamed 'The Winston Churchill park' or 'The Maggie Thatcher Park'

At least they did not march against the state.

You are getting madder by the day.

Please do give generously if you can. Bless you!

* ESSEX HURRICANE APPEAL *

A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit Essex in the early hours of Friday with its epicentre in Basildon. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering, "Faaackinell".

The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair.

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon .

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next morning."

Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.


The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

_HOW CAN YOU HELP?_


This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:

Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.


Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:

Microwave meals, tins of baked beans, Ice cream, cans of Colt 45 or
Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9. £5 buys
B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

_**Breaking news**_


Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry
Alco-pop.

'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked.


"ROMFORD" said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?"

if it costs a penny it'll be too much.

take it out of the head of the council's wages, he earns over a hundred grand a year.

“We can stick stickers over road signs to change the name, instead of having to order new ones.”

well for starters pal, try sorting the spelling of 'Chalvedon' out on the sign at the roundabout at Timberlog Lane and Broadmayne while you're giving it the big one about this sort of stupid error!

Can Malcolm Buckely guranttee that any cost over the £1000.00 will be meet out of his own pocket.

Perhaps Mr Buckley has his eye on the Mayor job, after all he knows a lot about sitting around and doing nothing

"The ruling Conservatives claim borough status will raise the profile of Basildon, Billericay and Wickford, and attract more investment to the area."

Attract investment? Seriously?

Oh yes, I can see the high level meeting between Big Business PLC and the council bigwigs now -
"We're certainly interested in moving our business to Basildon but can you guarantee us that a councillor dressed in a frilly shirt and red coat will arrive in a big chauffeur-driven car to cut the ribbon at the opening?"