ADVANCED psychotherapist and clinical hypnotherapist CLAIRE GASKIN sees clients in Essex and in London’s Harley Street. She is now bringing her expertise to the problems of our readers as our agony aunt. If you have a problem you’d like Claire’s advice with, email agonyaunt@nqe. com For more details on Claire’s work, visit www.benefittherapy.co.uk

DEAR CLAIRE, I am really worried about my teenage daughter who I suspect has an eating disorder.

I have read countless articles over the years about parents dealing with this and also people going through it and now I think it might be happening to my family I still feel completely useless and unable to cope with it.

I have made an appointment to see the doctor without telling her and now don’t know whether to sit her down and be up front about what is happening or get her there by telling a fib.

She constantly exercises, won’t eat anything other than very simple foods like plain chicken and rice and her already very small sized clothes are hanging off her, although she wears a lot of baggy clothes now to try and hide this after a wellmeaning relative made a throwaway comment about out how thin she was over Christmas.

I am so scared about handling this right as I do not want to make myself the enemy.

CLAIRE SAYS: An eating disorder is a serious mental health condition which usually requires professional intervention, so it’s good that you have already made an appointment with your doctor.

However, you do need to have an honest conversation with your daughter.

If your suspicions are confirmed she will need to be willing to engage with any treatment plan.

There are many reasons why a disorder like this develops but the sufferer often feels scared and insecure, so it’s important to initiate a discussion sensitively and without blame.

One way is to say you have noticed a change in her behaviour, and are worried and want to help.

If your daughter is angry or defensive in response, understand that she may be frightened by how she feels but don’t be put off.

If the conversation gets heated try again when things have calmed down.

This is a concerning time for you so please keep the appointment with your doctor, even if your daughter refuses to go.

And have a look online at some of the organisations which provide guidance and support, such as www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk.

The signs here aren’t conclusive but, if your doctor does diagnose an eating disorder, rest assured that, with the right help people can recover.