ADVANCED psychotherapist and clinical hypnotherapist CLAIRE GASKIN sees clients in Essex and in London’s Harley Street. If you have a problem you’d like Claire’s advice with, email agonyaunt@nqe. com. For more details on Claire’s work go to

DEAR CLAIRE: Last year I discovered my husband had been unfaithful to me, not once but on several occasions over our ten year relationship.

I think I would have gone on oblivious, because I trusted him 100 percent and it never occurred to me he would do something like this, if it were not for the partner of one of the women deciding to inform me.

I cannot explain the humiliation and betrayal I felt - and still do. He begged me to give him another chance, we have a young daughter, and I made him tell me the whole sordid truth because I felt that would help me move on and have a fresh start.

We moved house and he even changed his job so he was not travelling around as much, which was obviously when he was cheating, but I cannot let it go and I still feel so angry and bitter.

I am not sure I can ever trust him again. Is there anything else I can try?

CLAIRE SAYS: Betrayal can be devastating. You have tried to make a fresh start but, as you’ve discovered, it’s not always possible to leave the problem behind. The uncomfortable truth is that infidelity is usually a symptom of a bigger issue.

Your husband has told you what happened but do you know why he cheated? To help you trust again you need to have a deeper conversation and understand his reasons.

Be prepared to hear things you don’t want to hear, and consider professional counselling to help you both through such difficult discussions. It’s also important to release your anger, which will otherwise continue to eat away.

I’ve used BWRT with great success to help people in similar circumstances. Forgiveness can also help. Not everyone feels able to forgive bad behaviour but if you can at least accept what’s happened, and draw a line under it, this will assist you in moving forwards.

Cheating on multiple occasions does raise the question of whether you can trust him again. However, if he displays genuine remorse, your marriage is much more likely to last.

You are mourning the loss of the relationship you thought you had. Take heart that marriages do survive infidelity, some even become stronger.