EVERY year I say I won’t watch the live semi-finals of Britain’s Got Talent - and pretty much every year I do.

After a sunny bank holiday out and about, I sank into the sofa with a lager shandy and a Curly Wurly and it just seemed the perfect thing to watch. Ten minutes in the lightning had halted proceedings, an already slightly fish-out-of-water Dec plunged into further chaos.

Once we were up and running again the acts were, at best, a tad mediocre on the first night. It was clear from the outset Lost Voice Man would triumph, he did and deservedly so, and while the D Day Darlings sounded good, it was clearly the masterstroke of bringing on the veterans at the end that scooped them the second spot in Sunday’s live final.

But what was that escapologist act all about ? I, quite frankly, was traumatised by it.

If he wasn’t actually on the point of drowning, he did an extremely convincing job of looking like he was and I am pretty sure that paramedic passed him a tool to emergency release the box on his head.

No mention was made of this but he had held his breath for over two minutes by this point.

Which is a very long time and much longer than the one minute forty point at which he told us all he would be in serious trouble.

Obviously he must be practised but he really did look like he was struggling. I did not find it entertaining - watching someone looking like they may very possibly be dying is not my idea of a fun night out at the theatre. And I am pretty sure whichever Royal they send forth for the pleasure of this year’s show won’t either.

Other than that, last night we had a lot of kids running about whilst zombies chased them, someone rush through and press all the buzzers and a couple of comedians who fell very flat.

In short, it is all the fun of the fair, except without Ant. It still seems very odd to see Dec on his own, they kept placing him up in the audience, presumably to try and hide the fact he is on stage on his own, and the jokes are a bit awkward.

Maybe they are saving all the best acts for later in the week but I disagree with Amanda, who thinks this is the most talent-filled season so far.

When David’s golden buzzer act, a somewhat game 61-year-old chap who sang and danced to a catchy tune of his own creation, is the best thing on one of the live semi-finals, you kind of have to question the rest of it.

But no doubt I will still tune in on Sunday, just to see who triumphs.