YOU couldn't make it up.Dinky little modesty doors will be fitted to Southend's night-time urinals.

They will protect those who lose track of which way they are pointing.

This will apply to girls as well - they sometimes attempt to use the urinals as well, this being the age of equality, of course.

Now all that's needed, Southend Council please note, is a self-righting device.

It is required for all those who, to judge by the appearance of the street next morning, try to relieve themselves while standing on their heads.