Grumpy women have a laugh about growing old

As they sit round a table at the end of rehearsals, the trio all stress how much they're enjoying the experience of preparing the show and, in the process, becoming firm friends.

The rapport between the threesome is plain for all to see. Even though they admit that they are old and wise enough to know better, they are obviously having a wonderful, girly laugh together.

"It would be very difficult to do this show if there were no chemistry between us," affirms Dillie, who made her name as a founder-member of the marvellously original cabaret troupe, Fascinating Aida.

Denise, who after starring roles in Coronation Street, Bad Girls and Queer as Folk, is one of our most popular actresses, agrees. "While we all are different characters - that's important for the show - we've had such a good time together and we have a great deal in common."

"And having fun," Dillie adds.

"And drink," Britt chips in, with an infectious laugh.

That sense of fun is conveyed to the audience during Grumpy Old Women Live, which has played to ecstatic packed houses over the past couple of years.

Audiences from here to Australia have lapped up the brilliantly entertaining show including Basildon's Towngate theatre earlier this year.

Its now back in South Essex for one night at the Cliffs Pavilion in Westcliff next Thursday (November 15) Grumpy Old Women Live runs through the issues that are really getting up the noses of females of a certain age. It appeals to those who have found that where they were once cool and collected, they are now merely hot and bothered.

Described as both "theatrical HRT" and "a 90-minute HRTantrum," this delightfully engaging show resonates with women who find that all of a sudden they are making a funny grunting noise when they get out of the chair.

Co-written by Jenny Eclair and Judith Holder, Grumpy Old Women Live also chimes with ladies who ask themselves, "how did it happen? One day I had a poodle perm and a twinkle in my eye, the next I can't find my bifocals and I'm arguing with that pushy woman on the sat-nav - which I have no idea how to turn off, never mind use. How did I get so old?"

The show reassures people that they are not the only Walkman in an iPod world. The GOW are with you all the way - they're equally baffled by digi-boxes and camera-phones. All in all, it is a glorious grumpfest.

But don't just take my word for it.

Dillie, the only one of this threesome who has appeared in the show before (she played in the UK and Australia with its co-creator, Jenny Eclair, and Linda Robson), describes the unparalleled buzz she derives from performing in front of an audience who are absolutely up for it. "Playing live gives you an incredible amount of energy," she enthuses.

"We're performing in very large houses where you need to ping stuff right to the back. You need to feed off the audience - and luckily that always seems to happen. It's such a lovely feeling when a line you're weren't sure about in rehearsals suddenly gets a huge laugh in the theatre. That's really satisfying."

Audiences clearly adore Grumpy Old Women Live. But just why has it been such a runaway hit? Britt, a genuine, 24-carat movie star who has headlined in such classic movies as Get Carter and The Wicker Man, gives a cogent explanation. "Everyone can instantly identify with this show.

"As soon as I read the script, I recognised what it was saying - I immediately understood that feeling of being grumpy and old. I thought, oh my God, I've said and done exactly the same thing. Surely no one else thinks like that!' It was extraordinary that someone had had precisely the same feelings as me. People all over the world can relate to this show - it's absolutely universal."

Britt, who has also been a Bond Girl, continues: "It's such a treat for me because I'm rarely allowed to play someone like that - I usually have to wear flouncy clothes and be a charming, fluffy creature! I've also done quite a few tired farces in my time, so it's really gratifying finally to do something that sounds like it could have come from my own mouth."

The trio go on to pick out a few of the many salient subjects covered in this uproarious, feel-good show. Denise, who gained a huge following playing Denise Osborne, hairdresser and mistress to the playboy of Coronation Street, Ken Barlow, pinpoints the topic of ageing. She smiles that, "I knew it was the end of the line for me when Ken Barlow turned me down in my last storyline. That was when I knew I was on my way down!

"Ageing is an invisible door that you go through. One week, when you go into a room, you're met with approval - something tasty has come in'. The next, they're looking past you to see if there's anything more interesting coming. It's painful because at the very moment when you're at your peak, you're seen as turning from lamb into mutton. You're perceived as being on the shelf at the age of 45. But the truth is, as you get older you actually feel stronger and stronger."

Dillie chimes in that, "in America, you're not allowed to get old - over there, this show would be called Grumpy Middle-Aged Women'. But when you see those American women whose faces are stretched beyond belief by plastic surgery, you think, who are you kidding?' At some stage, you have to get old - just do it with dignity!" Dillie smiles that she is thinking of adding a line to the show about the hot flushes that afflict women when they reach a certain age: "is it you or is it hot in here?"

Another subject that features heavily in Grumpy Old Women Live is men. According to Dillie, the show majors in gentle mockery rather than full-on ranting and raving. "The thing this show does best is not whinge, but be very funny about issues we can all relate to. Men are a case in point. We don't rant about them. We laugh with each other about men's foibles, but we never say, go and get yourself a better one.' "In the show, our universal man is called Keith, and you immediately know him. I've got a Keith at home. He's a bog-standard bloke. He says, why don't you let me help you with that?', just as you're finished some exhausting chore. He likes sport and going to the pub, but we think, we can live with that'."

Dillie emphasises that men are more than welcome at the show, which is based on the highly popular TV series and book of the same name. "I know that a lot of men sit there quivering, but I can assure you they'll have a very good time. The only problem may be trying to get to the bar at the interval - it's always jam-packed with women. When my partner came, he asked his son to get him a drink at the interval, and the lad replied: not likely, there are far too many women there. It's scary!'"

"So," Denise pipes up, "a word of advice. If you're a bloke, order your interval drinks in advance!"

Finally, what do these terrific GOW think the audiences will take away from the show? Britt is hopeful that, "people will be entertained by recognising themselves in the Grumpy Old Women."

For her part, Dillie trusts that, "people will have a fantastic laugh and forget about their day-to-day worries for two and a half hours. It's a night off as well as a night out. And," she concludes with one last laugh, "I hope people leave feeling OK about their flabby thighs!"

Grumpy Old Women Live Thursday November 15 Cliffs Pavilion Station Road Westcliff Tickets £23.00 8pm 01702 351135