Southend seafront is an iconic site not just in Essex, but across the country.

The beach and surrounding attractions bring in thousands of visitors every year and it is perfect place to get some fresh air for people who live locally.

But despite the seafront's popularity, there are some visitors who haven’t quite enjoyed their trip to the coast as much as the rest of us.

Some have even taken to Tripadvisor to express their distaste and leave some pretty harsh - but hilarious - reviews.

So here are five of our seafront's toughest critics and why they weren’t quite so keen:


'Halfwit cyclists'

Reviewer Robbo said: “Nice place, completely ruined by the idiots cycling on the pavement and abusing any pedestrians they hit while doing so.

“Sad to say that the memory that stays with me is being hit from behind by a cyclist while I was walking along the pavement on the seafront, and being called a 'f****ng c***' for it.

“Girlfriend's elderly mother also got clipped while using a zebra crossing.

“Decent place, ruined by halfwits on bikes everywhere, won't be returning.”

'Razor sharp shells'

Frad 70 wrote: “Dirty, muddy water is not the worst thing.

“Not even the smell of smoked marijuana. Not even some of the rudest tourists in Britain.

“Razor-like fossilised shells make it impossible to walk into the water without some shoes on - even if you wear them try not to fall down or you may see some blood on your hands.

“Your blood, pouring from some fresh wounds.

“Better avoided.”

'Dirty water'

Rick wrote: “Southend waterfront itself is nice, but the beach is a let-down. The water is so dirty and muddy that you don’t feel like going inside.

“The beach has no sand and the parking is expensive - £10 for six hours on a Sunday. There are plenty of public toilets but they were very dirty when we visited.

“We won’t be returning.”

'It's like a swamp'

Too Much TM said: “Very sad to say but the beach itself (if you can call it that), is really not even worth going to. I mean, there is like a swamp before you reach the extremely shallow water so its a bit disgusting really to walk through.

“We couldn't even sit and relax on the beach because there was nothing of interest to see.

“The promenade, cafes and fun fair seem decent enough.

“But this has to be the worst beach itself that we have seen in England."


Jackdom wrote: “I'd sooner recommend somebody put there head in a hungry alligators mouth.

“The place is tedious, boring and rundown.”


Thankfully, harsh reviews of our seafront are few and far between and there are plenty of positive ones out there.

Onn Tripadvisor alone, there are dozens of flattering and nice comments which prove people's experience is on the whole, a good one. 

And here are some reviews that prove it:


SeaSal1 wrote: " One of my favourite places in the world to be, whatever the weather, whatever the tide is up to.

"I just love it here. Generally peaceful and tranquil."

'Simple pleasure'

Nannie Norms said: "Southend has spent a considerable amount of money and time improving this area. Children love the little fountains which come out of the pavement.

"It is lovely to see them enjoying simple pleasures like this. The whole promenade looks lovely and modern, as well as being clean. Enjoyable place to visit on a sunny day."

'Gorgeous beach'

Linda wrote: "Clean and tidy beach. Amazing sun-rises and sun-sets. 

"Beautiful views and ambiance. Safe and sandy.

"Will definitely return!"

'It puts Southend on the map'

Jantony said: "When City Beach was being constructed, all the moaners said it was a complete waste of money.

"How wrong can they all be.

"It is attracting so many tourists now, together with the great fountains & lights, that has really put Southend on the map."

The seafront may not be everyone's cup of tea, but we wouldn't swap it for anything!