ANOTHER frustrated Southend United fan has his say.

Just over 52 years ago my father took me to my first ever Southend United match, a Friday night game under the lights.

We won 4-0.

I can remember exactly the moment he told me we were going, I was so excited.

Up until then I had been limited to watching the action from my grandparents' bathroom window in Shakespeare Drive and only seeing the 18 yard box at the North Bank end.

It was only when my father, uncle and brother arrived back after the match I would know the score!

Being young I did flirt with supporting a bigger club, I was always asked in the playground at school “yes but who is your real team” so I thought I better have one.

I am eternally ashamed to admit I did show interest in West Ham and Chelsea but saw no connection with these big London teams.

It was Third or Fourth Division Southend United for me from now on and a hand knitted blue and white bobble hat and scarf for Christmas 1970 sealed the deal.

I still have the scarf and I always wear it at the last home game of the season, I won’t this year.

Over the next few years I was able to witness our first ever promotion in 1971 and then subsequent promotions and relegations.

A real roller coaster ride but great fun.

I was proud to support my local team.

I was at Stockport, Bury and Peterborough for the promotion games.

I went to Florence to see us play Fiorentina. I managed to do all 92 League grounds, mostly with Southend and I wrote regularly for the programme.

Most of my friends I have met through the Blues, for 10 months of the year I am wrapped up in our results.

Weekends can be made by a last minute goal at Walsall, Tuesday nights ruined by a terrible refereeing decision at Fleetwood.

It’s beautiful, heart breaking yet like a drug I couldn’t live without it.

Living as I do just outside Southend I am used to a pub full of West Ham fans.

I could banter with them, reminding them of April 1993 when we beat them in League. Not now, I am metaphorically patted on the head and get shown pity.

I am the supporter of a soon to be Non-League club.

I am proud to support my local team, I love it when you see fellow Blues’ fans in any context and you will immediately chat with them or at least acknowledge them.

I doubt Manchester United fans do that.

I am completely ambivalent towards the Premier League and all their riches and don’t get me started on the failed “Super League” and I have no time for any local Premier League “supporter” who chooses to support Liverpool because their father did.

Had their father supported Stockport would the same logic apply?

What has happened to my beloved club over the last three has broken my heart.

“It’s only a game” I’m told. No it isn’t, it’s a way of life.

My abiding memory of that night in 1969 is of the bright lights against the evening sky.

Those lights, it feels, have just gone out. Maybe forever.

I have loved Southend United Football Club for over 50 years, I don’t anymore.

NICK HART