I’LL be honest, I’ve put off writing this for as long as possible.

Mainly because the state of Southend United is so tough to take right now.

The Shrimpers have played a huge part in my life for as long as I care to remember.

But right now the club is broken and I know I won’t be alone in wondering if it is now beyond repair.

It is truly heartbreaking to see and the constant conveyor belt of negativity makes following the fortunes of the club incredibly draining and depressing.

It shouldn’t be this way of course.

I have supported Blues since I was seven in the late 1980s and I’ve been hooked since attending my first ever game.

From the early days of whacking my feet on the East Stand floor whenever the Shrimpers were awarded a corner to now be covering the action for the Echo, my hometown club have always been at the forefront of my mind.

And it is a special side to support too.

Yes, I’m probably biased but the fans’ backing remains incredible both home and away while some of my very best memories and friendships have been forged while following Blues.

It’s often not even about the football either.

It’s about getting together with friends, having a pint or a pie, laughing together on long away trips and always nodding your head to fellow fans you always recognise but don’t really know.

In many ways, supporting a lower league club bonds people together and forms something of a football family.

But all of that is at risk right now.

Blues have until the start of March to pay off a large tax bill following a winding up petition from the HMRC.

And this is about as serious as it can be.

Due to the frequency of the Shrimpers’ visits to the high court it is perhaps easy to become rather relaxed about the situation because they have been sorted so often in the past.

However, this feels different and it has never been this bad.

Ron Martin’s financial mismanagement of the football club has left Blues teetering on the brink and that was apparent wherever you looked on Saturday.

From the sorry state of the stadium, to seeing staff members still waiting to be paid for December or watching a squad that hasn’t been strengthened since September due to a transfer embargo playing on a poorly maintained pitch, it’s tough going.

And you can sense it among the supporters too.

One group of fans held a pre-match protest against Martin and made their feelings perfectly clear while other supporters watched on from afar not really knowing what can be done.

Many I spoke to are resigned to the chairman remaining at Roots Hall and cannot see him leaving whatever comes his way.

It is a complicated situation involving land owned and stadium plans and what action to take seems to divide the fanbase.

Social media can often be a toxic place but, the aftermath of Saturday’s match, was right up there with the worst I can remember and it is so sad to see.

This isn’t the Southend United I first fell in love with and all roads lead back to Ron Martin where that is concerned.

I often judge club statements by what isn’t said rather than what is and that made the words issued earlier this week incredibly worrying.

There was little in the way of reassurance and, with that in mind, it is understandable such passionate fans are so frustrated.

Fundamentally, all supporters want the same thing – a club to be proud of once again.

How on earth boss Kevin Maher manages to cope with all the extra noise alongside the normal duties of being a head coach I have no idea.

But Saturday was an afternoon to forget on the pitch too.

In summary, the Shrimpers struggled against Eastleigh’s stifling spoiling tactics and were also made to pay the price for two poor mistakes from goalkeeper Blondy Nna Noukeu.

However, right now the main focus is on how Blues are handled off the pitch and just how long the club might have left.

The Shrimpers mean so much to so many people and are a pivotal part of our local community.

They been here since 1906 and, as such, my message to Ron Martin is clear.

Please put the club’s needs before your own and welcome investment from others if required.

It’s needs must now and whatever is needed for Blues to climb off the canvas has to happen.

Because a life without Southend United is one I and thousands of others simply cannot comprehend.