The results are in. After £246 of X-rays I can confirm my dog has a bad back.

Of course, I knew he had a bad back before forking out on the pics of bits of him I’ll never see. What I didn’t know was how severe the damage was, how it would affect him long-term and what could be done about it.

I wasn’t encouraged by the message left by the vet – “It’s complicated,” he said. “Call me back and I’ll explain.”

I wasn’t completely buoyed up by the explanation – bits were good (“It won’t lead to paralysis”), bits were less good (“He will continue to be in pain”).

Then there was the suggestion of an MRI, a snip at a mere £1,200. Now, the thing about that was my brother, a 12-stone, 6ft tall farmer, had an MRI on his back last month and it cost him £450. Even allowing for the fact he didn’t need to be sedated to keep still (as far as I know), £1,200 still seems like a lot of readies for a read-out.

Add to that, the only reason for an MRI was the question of surgery, at about £6,000, and I was getting dizzy before I even thought of talking to my bank manager about flogging off the goldfish to pay for it (turns out it’s a misnomer, damn things are made of a fish flesh after all).

So, the vet prescribed some meds to keep him comfortable and I took him home to ply him with pharmaceuticals which made him a bit trippy and didn’t really seem to make a massive difference. So, we went alternative.

I found a canine osteopath on the internet with good credentials and a few recommendations. Apparently he does horses too. He came to my house, because he said dogs were more relaxed in their home environment.

Relaxed isn’t generally a word I’d use for my dog and I thought the osteopath rather brave as he sat on the floor, ignoring the raised lip, and quietly chatting with Fluffbag while stroking his chest. Much to my disbelief, Fluffbag slumped to the floor and rolled on to his side in exactly the position needed for treatment. As usual, I sat at the sharp end just in case of trouble, but he just lay there and almost dozed off as he was gently rubbed and stretched.

Later that night, Fluffbag ran up a flight of steps, beating me and my other dog to the top and spent the next few days being as naughty as he was before he got old and achy.

In fact, I’ve been wondering if this osteopath still works on people...I’ve got this ache...