ESSEX Police has just published a selection of the more ridiculous calls made to the 999 service.

It includes callers such as the one who was worried a bird was stuck up a tree.

Much as it might raise a smile, the list is supposed to carry a serious message - think twice before dialling 999 for trivial reasons.

It could, however, serve another purpose. As well as fire, police and ambulance, perhaps we could have a fourth service - a comedy line where silly 999 calls could be recorded and replayed.

With another wet bank holiday apparently on the way, the need to be bucked up with a good laugh could well count as a genuine emergency.