FOR those grieving the loss of a husband or wife, even the smallest of tasks can seem impossible, let alone the thought of facing a social life again.

For Mandy Whiting, 48, it took four years before she felt ready to start going out again after her husband Dave was killed on his way to work in January 2007.

She took the plunge and started a social group for others who have also lost their partners.

Now nine months on, the group has grown and gone from strength to strength with members of all ages rediscovering the simple pleasures of friendship, eating out and even travelling overseas together.

Mrs Whiting, who lives in Little Wakering, said: “We have done so many things together. We have had breakfasts on the seafront, trips to the theatre, gone for meals out, enjoyed trips to London and to Europe, there have been so many things.

“There’s even a group who’ve been coming along who have all arranged to go to New York together, which is amazing.”

When she founded the group, Mrs Whiting felt a place for people to meet, talk about and remember their lost loved ones, and also begin to regain their social selves could do real good.

She said: “I’m really pleased with it. It’s been better than I ever imagined. Death is a difficult subject, and I didn’t want to upset people with the group, I worried people might find it odd.

“It’s a terrible thing to lose your other half, and to feel you have to go through life on your own, but this has been really nice because it unites people. You have something in common and it’s really nice it works so well.

“Everyone has this one thing in common and can take solace from that, as well as enjoy the freedom to talk about their loss, while also carrying on with their lives.”

The activities element of the group has proved incredibly popular, and has given members a way of getting back into once-treasured activities without feeling alone.

Mrs Whiting said: “It’s often the companionship people miss. They don’t want to do things by themselves.

“When you lose someone you can end up losing a lot of the things you did together. You don’t want to do them alone or don’t feel able to do them. The group has united people and given them a way of doing these things. In some ways it’s almost a new lease of life.”

After her husband’s death, Mrs Whiting was left a single parent to their daughter Amber, now 11, and knows how hard it can be for parents to cope with their loss and challenges of parenthood.

She said: “It would be really nice to meet other younger widows and widowers who have young children like myself. I know they are out there, but I want them to know the group exists and can offer support.”

The group meets once a month, with members organising other activities throughout the month.

For more information on the group and when and where it meets, call Mrs Whiting on 07766 446986.

* Bryan Winn lost his wife Margaret, aged 58, in October 2007, five months after she was diagnosed with bowel cancer.

Mr Winn, 61, of Southwell Road, Benfleet, has become a regular at the meetings, and is one of four members who has just jetted off for a break in New York. He also enjoys group activities including theatre trips, eating out and going walking.

He said: “Within the group I have made close friendships.

“It's a really social thing, you can end up thinking you’re the only lonely person in the world on a Sunday afternoon, but most people in the group can identify with that so we often do things together.

“It has helped me make a new group of friends. It’s different to other groups, like singles clubs, because it’s purely about friendship”