WHEN Deana Donovan’s son Daniel* was born, he was her pride and joy.

She paid for his education, sending him to a private boarding school, and had high hopes for his future.

The 50-year-old never dreamed he would develop a nine-year addiction to heroin which would very nearly destroy both his and her life.

At the age of 20, after smoking cannabis and snorting cocaine, Daniel was offered heroin and, after one hit, was hooked.

Deana, of Chesterford Gardens, Pitsea, had no idea her son was experimenting in drugs.

She only found out when her daughter confessed to her about her brother’s habit.

Recalling the moment, Deana said: “I just remember feeling panic, sheer panic.

“He was living away from home and kept it hidden. When I used to see him he always looked clean.

“My daughter and I were so naive.

“We thought we would be able to get him into rehab clinic where he would get clean and nobody would ever have to know.

“We carried that on for years and years.”

As her son spiralled further into his addiction, Deana spiralled further into depression.

Ashamed of her son’s problem with heroin, she kept his habit secret from those closest to her, not even telling her husband – Daniel’s stepfather – for five years.

Deana explained: “Because my husband had two sons from his previous relationship and they were doing really well, I didn’t want to admit my son wasn’t – I was just trying to protect him.

“Another reason I kept it a secret was because people at work knew Daniel.

“It’s just a feeling of shame.”

Aside from the shame, Deana struggled to cope with the dangerous reality of her son’s drug-addled life.

He slept rough or at the homes of other addicts and spent his days stealing to pay for his next hit.

He has several convictions for shoplifting and has served time in prison.

Deana’s daughter has even been approached in the street by people claiming Daniel has stolen from them.

During the height of his addiction, Deana never knew where Daniel was from one moment to the next, or even if he was alive.

She recalled: “A lot of addicts, when they are on the drugs, live such chaotic lives.

“They have a routine where they get up and have to go to shoplift to get their fix.

“But, as a mum, you have all these thoughts and you think you are going mad.

“What normal mum lays in bed and plans her son’s funeral? Well, the mums of addicts do.

“Every little noise you hear you think is the police coming – you are just waiting for that knock on the door.

“There have been times I’ve prayed Daniel would go to prison, because at least there he would be safe.

“I’ve asked Daniel how he can bring himself to inject heroin and whether he worries about dying.

“He said he just gets caught up in the moment. They don’t think about death. All they are worried about is their fix.”

But, after years of dishing out thousands of pounds to her son and blaming herself for his addiction, Deana finally buckled under the pressure and tried to take her own life.

It was then she began having counselling and learnt to say no to her son’s demands for cash.

Deana said: “They play on the guilt. I felt if I didn’t give Daniel money, he would die.

“But my counsellor said: ‘How would you feel if you gave him £20 and he scored and died?’ and that was that.

“It took me a long time, but once I started to change, Daniel started to change.

“Now, if he’s using, he doesn’t bother to ask me for money.”

After nine years of heartbreak and being constantly let down by her son’s failed attempts to get off the drugs, Daniel – now aged 29 – has been clean for seven months.

He is training to become a forklift driver and his mum now feels optimistic about the future.

She said: “My son is 30 soon and we are going out for a family meal.

“Before I couldn’t have done that, I couldn’t have involved Daniel in anything.

“Today I feel optimistic, but I still take every day at a time.”

* Deana’s son’s name has been changed to Daniel at her request.